On Self-Acceptance

I’ve never accepted the way I look till very recently. Back in Taiwan where I grew up, my appearance stands out in a not-so-good way. I am 168 centimeters (5’6″), which makes me way taller than average for my age. I’ve always been one of the tallest girls in class, and since I’m not skinny skinny nobody has ever complimented on my looks. My shoe size is 38, and when I was a kid I could never ever get female models of NIKE trainers. That was basically the biggest female size and the smallest male size. Since shops always had a very small stock of them (and my mother wouldn’t pay for the models that were not on sale), I was always forced to buy man trainers. I trained to compete between the age of 12-15, but after that I was chained to my desk trying to get into a decent university, so for years and years I didn’t buy new trainers. It was not until I came to Europe and decided to start jogging again that I got my first pair of trainers for women. The marks and trims are magenta, and I had to heave a sigh for finally getting some compensation.

I have never been the most feminine of the bunch. In fact, I’m still very obtuse when it comes to how Asian girls (or girls in general, but particularly Asian ones if I may say) interact with each other. How they would mercilessly trash a colleague they have been working for YEARS with just because she was a bit friendly with this new guy at work at a work party. How they always have to move in pair or group, even if they are just going to the restroom. How they would stop talking to you all of a sudden with no apparent reason. There are some things I’ve never figured out in my life, though it’s not that I still care enough to work them out.
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